On Being Tired

Syncope is a funny illness. It ranges from those who faint (or even just feel faint) at the sight of blood to those who faint uncontrollably for a variety of known and unknown causes. I fall into the second category, though my syncope is slowly coming more and more under control (mostly through exercise).

The thing is that when people, including doctors, think about syncope, they concentrate on the pre-syncope and the syncope. They want to know how you feel before you faint, and how often you faint, and how long you're unconscious (which isn't always easy to tell). They occasionally ask about unusual symptoms you have (mine include what resemble absent seizures of 1-2 seconds, which I notice occasionally as it's like a skip in a movie, but no one around me notices, and intermittent numbness in my hands and feet). They almost never ask about how you feel afterwards.

And the fact is, THAT'S where the biggest impact happens, at least for me.

After any syncope or pre-syncope symptoms, whether mild or severe, I get tired. Really, really tired. It's actually one of the ways I can tell the difference between syncope nausea and other types of nausea I get.

When I quit work, 9 months ago, I was having nausea 85% of the time, visual disturbances over half the time, along with at least three severe dizzy spells a day.

I also slept 10+ ours a night. And had a nap of at least 4 hours a day. And the only reason I was limited to that amount was that my Dad thought that that amount of sleep was bad for me and found lots of activities for us to do.

I'm a lot better now. I've started working again, and I have a lot less pre-syncope symptoms, and I haven't fainted for a while (though I have about an hour of continuous partial faints on one occasion, and on another I also had tachycardia). The result is that I need a lot less sleep. While I'm working in the week I manage with a fairly standard amount (8 hours), but on my days off and weekends I catch up. This weekend I slept 10 hours each night with a 2 hour nap each day.

It sucks. In a lot of ways, it sucks more than actually fainting. I missed both of my new works' Christmas parties. I was asleep at the time of both of them. I missed a close friend's 30th. I didn't even have any kind of 30th for myself. In dancing circles I am actually known as "sleeping girl". Yes, several people were surprised that I had a name - and that I was occasionally awake.

It sucks being tired all the time. No two ways around it. It just does.

And I'm off to bed.

(But I'll still go for a run in the morning)